 Each morning I wake excited to start another day in the world of parenting. Making promises to myself to remain present, patient and, well, extra patient. As a parent of young children, you really can’t have enough patience, can you? After I have asked my children what they want for breakfast for the third time (with no answer), packed healthy (sort of) lunches and shuffled my family out the door breathless, I feel a good portion of the patience and zest I began the day with has already been significantly depleted.
Fast forward through the rest of the day. Between work demands, home demands and general life and parenting demands, I cannot wait for the moment I am kissing my little cherubs while they slumber peacefully in their beds. But wait. It dawns on me about the same time every day, just after dinner and before baths, I realize I still have to leap that last looming, mountainous hurdle called bedtime. We all feel it at the end of the day. You are so close you can taste it. But that bucket of patience you started the day with has just one last glimmering drop in the bottom. In his hit book, with the same title, Adam Mansbach dared to say what we are all thinking in those last moments of the day, “Go the F**k to Sleep.” Why is it that I, along with all of my friends and nearly every family I have consulted with, find bedtime to be the most challenging segment of the day? For one, everyone is tired, plain and simple. People who are tired, both big and small, exhibit hindered coping skills. Routine tasks such as diaper changing, teeth brushing, dressing in pajamas, and choosing bedtime books are really no different than the other countless tasks you have successfully managed throughout the day. They just feel different because you are so darn tired. I’m not sure if bedtime will ever be easy, but here are a few ideas to help make the most challenging part of the day just a little less challenging.
 Here we are. We have made to the last hurdle of another winter. March 12th is the day we "spring ahead" and begin daylight saving time. The one hour time change is nothing more than a shorter than normal day for most of us. For parents of babies and young children however, it can mark the beginning of challenges around bedtime and established wake times, that remain long after we "Spring Ahead".
If your child has a consistent bed and wake time and is between the age of five months and five years, it is important to adjust your child's biological clock slowly to the time change. If nothing is done in advance, the clock time will indicate it is bedtime, but your child's body will not biologically be ready to sleep for another hour. Putting a child to bed an hour before they typically go to sleep can cause a whole host of problems. For example, a toddler may begin popping out of bed when beforehand they would have fallen asleep within minutes. A young baby may become frustrated with the extended period of time in the crib and suddenly require your presence. These are just two scenarios where long lasting bedtime challenges can begin to be formed. Think Small Changes The body responds best to time changes in small, 15-30 minute increments. If nothing is done beforehand to adjust your child's body, she will feel the need to sleep an hour later than her normal bedtime. To shift your child's body clock slowly over the course of a week, adjust her bedtime 15-20 minutes earlier each day leading up to daylight saving time. When March 12th arrives, she will be going to bed at her typical bedtime by the clock, which biologically, is an hour earlier. For example, if your child's bedtime is 7:30, the shift schedule would look like this: Bedtime: 7:30
It is important to remember that your child's wake-up time and nap time should also be adjusted each day in accordance with the shift at night. If your child's wake time is typically 7:30, you would begin by waking him at 7:15 on day one and continue to shift the time back following a similar schedule as listed above until the established wake time is reached. Morning wake time sets the tone for naps, therefore naps are simultaneously shifting earlier as you shift the schedule earlier. If you have a child whose wake time is too early, you can use daylight saving as an opportunity to remedy the situation by letting him sleep an hour later by the new clock time. It must be pointed out that this will only apply to a child whose too early wake-ups have been leading to shorter than recommended sleep at night. The majority of children between the ages of five months and five years, require between 10.5 and 12 hours of sleep a night. It is not realistic to expect a child will biologically begin to sleep longer hours at night if they are already within their healthy norm. If this is the case for your family, then we would recommend that you not adjust bedtime as explained above. Alternatively, put your child to bed at their regular biological bedtime, which will be an hour later according to the new clock time. As mentioned above, adjusting the nap schedule in accordance with wake time is important so that your child is not napping later in the day. If a nap is too close to bedtime it can sabotage the ability to fall asleep at night due to the lack of "sleep pressure". This may mean waking your child early from their last nap to protect the earlier bedtime. Typically, a toddler requires 5 hours of wake time before going to bed in the evening and a baby older than 6 months needs approximately 2.5-3 hours. Use Darkness and Light to Reinforce Desired Schedule The circadian rhythm, a main driving force for sleep, is very sensitive to light and dark cues. To prepare your child's body for an earlier bedtime, dim the lights in your house and avoid exposing your child to natural light in the evening. Conversely, use light exposure in the morning to help wake-up times remain consistent. The light we are exposed to in the morning "locks in" our circadian rhythm. If you are trying to solve the problem of a too early wake time, do not expose your child to morning light. Be Realistic Remember, your baby or young child is not able to tell time and relies on those cues her body sends her to know when she's supposed to go to sleep and when she is supposed to wake-up. Whether you implement a change before daylight saving time or after the clocks have been turned, it is realistic to expect that it should take at least 3-4 days before your child will be fully adjusted to the time change. |
Joanna Silverman
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